


induratize

by houtarou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One Shot, a lot of crying, also tobio is totally emotionally constipated as usual, everyone is a third year, hinata grew a lil bit but everyone still p much acts the same tbh, hinata is a lil puss, i just love writing crying, yachi has longer hair ftw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8478874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houtarou/pseuds/houtarou
Summary: induratize[in-'dur-a-tIz](v.) to make one's own heart hardened or resistant to someone's pleas or advances, or to the idea of love It's March, Kageyama is eighteen, and graduation is just around the corner.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hello! author here. thank you for clicking on this one-shot! you might know me on wattpad; i've posted this story under the same name there as "tatorutaruto"^^ this is a whopping 13k words so pls take your time reading this-- also it's so slow going i wonder how i even had the patience for it. thank you again!

Outside, the sun burned hot across dirt ground and concrete walls, but inside the gymnasium, it was considerably cooler. It was always like that, Tobio supposed, deceptively cold inside. His fingers grazed the volleyballs, hot against the vague temperature they gave off. It was always like that.

March was ending, so that ensured April’s arrival. It also confirmed that indeed, his time at Karasuno was nearing its end. No more would he drift off into a disturbing sleep during class of math and history, English nightmares and the terrors of Japanese. Leaning into a curled palm and shutting his eyes before a sun tilting its way into his classroom, as if it were trying to understand _just_ what _was so boring that one would sleep through it?_ and such manners.

He wouldn’t smash his lunch down his throat all at once - to the concerned look of disappointment by his class representative - in order to catch just a _few_ minutes of volleyball. Yes, that too - he’d lose the rusting bars supporting the nets, the stubbornly misplaced Mikasa balls, the heavy metal doors that brought back memories of his first day at the school - every time. And the volleyballs, themselves - the rough texture softened over time, how he’d work better with them the more he used them, and likewise, how they warmed to his touch.

 _One more_ , he’d call out, adrenaline lighting the tips of his fingers, the ends of his calves, the muscles on his shoulders and abdomen, alight. He’d press his hands together tightly on either side of the ball, as if he could touch the pads to one another through the object. He’d bring the ball close to him, inhaling the sweet smell of a team sweating out their excitement, the newly waxed floors, the salty scent the ball always had. He’d furrow his brows, close his eyes, exhale low and deeply.

He’d lose starting a set, throwing to himself alone in the gym, and most importantly, tossing to the ball of literal energy that was Hinata Shouyou.

At this point in the school year, it was only him, Tobio, Yachi, Tsukkishima, and Yamaguchi left from the team when he first joined. Of course, new people joined, and of course, the team eventually worked well with each other, but there was something about one’s first team in high school. _What was everyone doing now?_ he wondered to himself occasionally, on days like this, where he was stuck with the comforting pain of nostalgia. _College?_ In a few weeks, all that was left of the original team would be scattered across Japan.

It was a nice thought that everyone managed to find somewhere decent to go, somewhere definite to be after school (even the bumbling mass of orange-haired annoyance). But, as for Tobio… Well -

“Ah. Kageyama.” A voice spoke up, echoing across the gym. A nice, but surprising change to the silence sopping with distance thoughts.

Tobio withdrew his paused fingertips, head turned to the entrance. “Captain.”

Yamaguchi moved forward, into the gym with upraised lips and striding steps. “I _thought_ I might find you here - well,” he added with a chuckle, “it was probably a given, taking your personality into consideration.”

The former hummed in agreement. The captain had quite filled out since taking the roll. His thin limbs and cowardly slouch had been replaced with a thicker build and a chest that curved out instead of in. His body had also figured out the whole puberty thing, which was apparent by the clear skin on his nose and cheeks. The color of his skin, dotted with freckles, had darkened from his sickly pallor (as sickly as a natural tan can get).

“I’m here about your career application. Oh, don’t give me that. Stop groaning, you _know_ you can’t graduate without filling it out.” Tobio visibly slumped, closing his eyes as a means of avoiding the conversation.

He heard Yamaguchi shift his weight onto one foot, could practically _see_ the Sugawara-like pose; hands on hips with a devilishly amused look. “If you’re going to be like _that_ , I guess I’ll have to suspend you from the gym until you-”

Tobio’s eyes whipped open, back arching straight. “I’ll have it done by tomorrow.”

The captain smiled widely. “That’s a smart one.” He patted Tobio’s shoulder and coaxed a slip of paper into his hand. “See you tomorrow,” he whispered sweetly, and left him alone in the gym. The boy blinked, and it was quiet once more.

His eyes drifted down to the slip of paper folded in his hands. **Job Form** , it read in bolded letters. _Kageyama Tobio._ _Where do I plan to go? Why?_ he thought. Hell if he knew. Groaning with frustration, he shoved the form in a front pocket and whirled back to face the volleyballs. His shoulders slumped. _Where_ do _I plan to go?_

Into volleyball, obviously.

_Right?_

It didn’t matter how he tried. Tobio couldn’t manage to write the words down, attempt as he may. He should put it down anyways, regardless of if he meant it or not. People changed their minds in college every day. That way of thinking hadn’t gotten him any closer to finishing the form.

Twice he’d handed in the job assignment, and twice - now thrice - he’d had it returned anew. On Tobio’s first attempt, he’d written “I haven’t decided yet” (it was a perfectly good excuse, in his defense). _You’d better at least lie about it_ , his homeroom teacher had advised, slipping another sheet on his desk during a history lesson.

And he had. _Hikikomori_ , sloppily scrawled onto the paper, due to his irritation at the moment. The same teacher had asked for a private chat that time, which ended in him clutching the bridge of his nose like it was his lifeline and Tobio pouting like a child. “I get that your grades are the best for becoming, say, I don’t know, a university teacher, or a novelist, but a _NEET_? Why don’t you apply for volleyball? You like that kind of stuff, right? Kageyama.”

 _Sure, Teacher_ , he’d mumbled in response, but that had been only a way of trying to leave faster. It’d backfired - he missed practice that day. There was no third experience with the teacher. Tobio had ignored the subject up until now. In summary, he wasn’t having a very pleasing experience with adulthood. Not that it mattered - he’d have to fill in the sheet anyways - but it was a nice thought to hate what he was about to enter while he could.

Outside the gymnasium, Tobio stomped away stubbornly, eyebrows creasing. It was too quiet, he could hardly _stand_ it. Before, years ago, it was all he wanted - peace and quiet. Away from the teammates who glared at his voice that yelled hoarsely, who wrinkled their noses at him and scorned him. It was maddening; he was, too, with his own share of glaring and scorning and nose wrinkling.

Ever since he matched Yukigaoka Junior High, back when he was fourteen, his mind had been buzzing with anger at that short captain. Him, with the green uniform that mismatched everything, especially his orange mass of hair. He’d glared up at Tobio with a look - it wasn’t even a _look_ , more than it was a declaration of rivalry. How this small (figuratively and literally) _bug_ dared challenge Kageyama _Tobio_ , the King of the court, had escaped him without an answer for the longest time.

 _Oh_ , how it’d pissed Tobio off.

He pushed yen into the vending machine violently. The boy shut his eyes, exhaling deeply through his mouth. Then, with resolution, his eyes flashed wide, two fingers slamming hard on two different buttons. A metallic churning, gears creaking. A spring curling out. A dull thud. Tobio reached a hand into the machine and pulled out a box of strawberry milk. He almost allowed himself a shit-eating grin. “Nice,” he mouthed smugly.

Even though it wasn’t lunchtime anymore, Tobio sometimes allowed himself another try at the machine. Juice or milk? He let the speed of his fingers decide. A cool liquid helped him dissolve conflicting issues. And that was the case here - he felt his stress fade with the milk. It was relaxing.

A tap on the shoulder sent all that away with him reeling forward and spinning wildly. Pink spittle flew out and dribbled from his mouth. A girl stepped back, a wide-eyed poker face barely concealing disgust. “Oh,” Tobio mumbled, ears burning as he wiping his face with the sleeve of his elbow. “Sorry, Yachi.”

“I-it’s okay, Kageyama,” she breathed, still wide-eyed. There was milk on her cheek. It explained her statue-like form, but made the other flush darker.

“Um…” he gestured vaguely about his face. “You’ve got…” he reached out subconsciously to wipe at it. She slapped at his hand, turning away rigidly.

“Sorry, Kageyama! I- I didn’t mean that.” Her voice was very high. “I can do it, though. Thank you, haha.” She dabbed at her face with a handkerchief and then faced him again. “Anyways.” It was an awkward silence then.

Tobio averted his eyes, lips pursing. “Is something wrong?”

Her eyebrows raised comically, and Yachi blushed. “Oh, right!” Her fingers twiddled in her lap. “I wanted to apologize for not letting you know sooner, since there isn’t a formal practice today.”

“Uh, yeah. I could tell.”

The team manager bowed at the waist frantically. “I’m so truly sorry, Kageyama!” In the near distance, people stared and whispered behind palms. _What’d he do to her? Poor third year. What a douche._

Glancing around nervously, Tobio lifted his hands at her. “I-it’s okay. Really. You don’t have to do that.” He leaned forward, tone hushing, when she gasped. “Y-Yachi?”

He’d opened his mouth to repeat her name when she straightened with a speed comparable to lightning. Almost as comparable was the spark of pain that lit in Tobio’s mouth as the crown of her head cracked against the bottom part of his nose. He bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood, and stumbled back, clutching his face with a stifled moan as Yachi fell to her knees, grasping the roots of her hair and hissing.

Yachi glanced up at gasped. “ _Kageyama!_ ” she wailed, fumbling to her feet. She touched his cheek gently. “Are you okay?! I’m so, so, so, _so_ sorry!” Tears came to her eyes.

The manager’s blue eyes, wide with tears and concern, looked _really_ cute. Her form had rounded out over the years, and her blonde hair had gotten longer. It rested around her mid back, held from her face with barrettes. Her hands gave a rather warm, upperclassman-type feel that they hadn’t as a clammy first-year.

Tobio bit down a noise of pain and gave a struggling grin. “I’m okay,” he chuckled. His hands came to a rest at his sides.

She sighed and backed up, wiping her eyes with a laugh. “Thank goodness.” Tobio nodded in agreement. A warm feeling spread in his nose, and a trail of wet dripped down a nostril, over his lap, and onto his shirt. Yachi screamed. The last thing Tobio could register before Yachi was dragging him away to the nurse’s was his milk box, crushed on the ground and bleeding pink to be soaked up by the dirt.

After visiting the nurse - who was actually just closing the door to her darkened office (“Christ, Kageyama!”) - Yachi accompanied him in walking wherever he was going. She fidgeted, sending him looks every now and again. Despite her mature looks, she sure was the same as she’d always been. From peeking out of the corner of his eyes, he saw that she seemed to be fixated on the pale red stain on the chest of his school uniform. “Really, Yachi - I’m okay,” he assured her. “Thank you.”

“Well, well, well,” a voice drawled. “If it isn’t Karasuno’s Most Awkward Couple.” Yamaguchi seemed to be having withdrawal symptoms from something unknown, by the looks of pure embarrassment and shame on his face at Tsukkishima’s insult.

It was a childish poke, all in all, but nevertheless, it ground at Tobio. Yachi stuttered in disbelief. Twitching, he turned towards the blonde. “Tsukkishi-”

He lifted a hand. “Please,” he added with a leer, “say no more. It just amused me that you two would leave Mrs. Former Team Manager and that shrimp for each other.” Behind him, Yamaguchi slapped his own forehead and groaned, “That was so lame, Tsukki.”

Yachi waved her hands about her face, turning a dark pink. “Kageyama and I - we aren’t! And Kiyoko and I are just friends. Friends!”

“ _Oh_ ,” Tsukkishima drew out. He pulled his phone out of a jacket pocket. His eyes met hers, flat. “I stopped caring the moment you started speaking.” His glasses glinted as he turned.

Tobio lurched forward. “ _Hey_ -”

“ _Don’t_ treat women that way, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi called, chopping said male on the head with motherly finality. “You need to apologize for that. We’re third years now, dipshit.” His voice shook on the last word.

Yachi’s mouth dropped and Tobio raised his eyebrows. Tsukkishima’s eyes burned holes in Yamaguchi’s wavering look of determinedness. He made a clicking sound with his tongue before droning, “Shut up, Yamaguchi,” and moving away from the group, irritation clouding his slanted eyes. If Tobio’s eyes didn’t fail him, he caught the faintest glimmer of red under Tsukkishima’s spectacles. But it must’ve been the sun.

On the other hand, Yamaguchi looked near collapse. “ _God_ , I thought Tsukki was going to kill me when he gave me those eyes,” he wheezed, blanching and grasping at his chest. “Sorry,” he added with a weak smile, “I’m still not used to standing up against him.” His eyes slid shut and Yamaguchi flushed. “Well,” he called then, blinking. “I’ll be off. See you two at practice tomorrow! And say the same to Hinata - I haven’t seen him in a while. We _do_ still have the spring tournament coming up.” For the second time that day, he left Tobio with silence.

“Well,” Yachi piped up after a moment. “I have forms to submit for graduation. How about you?”

"I planned on heading home, I guess.”

She smiled up at Tobio - Yachi had never quite outgrown her shortness. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

They both headed towards their destinations… which happened to be in the same direction. He supposed it was near impossible to escape awkwardness around Yachi Hitoka. It must not even register to her anymore - no, he was wrong. One look at her reddening, tearful face, and he knew. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. For her sake, at the end of the outdoors corridor, he peered down at her and said, “I turn here.”

It was like she’d just pulled her head out of water, gasping for air. “Ah!” The relief in her eyes was evident. “See you tomorrow, for real this time, Kageyama!” She giggled.

“Yeah.” And Tobio walked the opposite direction of his house.

That wasn’t a very easy thing to do either. Karasuno High was in the middle of absolutely fucking nowhere, with one road to enter and exit the school. For Yachi, he did a perimeter around the school before grabbing his bike and going down the dirt road. It wasn’t like he had anything to do anyways (in the eyes of a procrastinator), so it wasn’t much more than an annoyance.

It seemed as if he’d seen all the first years from the original volleyball team two years ago - oh. He had. All except Hinata. Where was he anyways? Not like it mattered. He ran into the redhead every single time he precisely didn’t want to, need to, or expected to - which, granted, was just about every time he ran into him, but still. If he counted gym class, which he shared with Hinata, he _had_ seen the whole team today, but he’d seemed distant and he saw them all at practice everyday anyways.

It was getting dark outside. The seniors had really held him up today. The purple sky, dotted with pinks and oranges and blues, set everything in a monochromatic light. A handful of stars were barely visible even when Tobio squinted, and he could see the moon.

His hands felt hot on the foam rests of the handlebars. The sunset against his back had his skin looking surprisingly pale. Unless it already was. He didn’t necessarily care how dark his skin was. However, his fingernails seemed to be getting long, and that concerned him.

Tobio had long passed the outskirts of a neighborhood before hearing human noise. “Thanks, old man!” a snorting laugh accompanied the _ding_ -ing of Sakanoshita’s - the corner store Coach Ukai ran - front doors.

“I’ll kick your ass if I hear you calling me that again!” Tobio could hear Ukai snarling faintly. He sped up his once calm walking upon realizing who the owners of the voices were.

“Kageyama.”

Tobio stopped mid-hurry and internalized a curse. He’d be damned if he let another third-yet waste his time. The boy turned slowly, taking in the figure bathed in artificial light while he stayed in the shadows. That’s how they’d always been since freshman year, Kageyama creeping into the shadows while the other braced himself in the spotlight, and that hasn’t changed since.

“What do you want?” Blank, even eyes responded. An unsmiling mouth. He held a bean bun in one hand and a bag in the other. When he didn’t reply, Tobio called in addition, “There wasn’t any practice today.”

A moment of silence. Sighing, he turned front and pushed forward with the bike. Hurried footsteps went after him. Hinata pressed forward until he had surpassed Tobio, and then he stepped directly in his path, staring. “I know.”

He’d grown. And not just in height - he’d grown even more than Tobio with the very top of his head just within the reach of shoving into his nose, which he’d done before, by the way - but in the way he displayed himself. However, that was all still a childish facade. Tobio sidestepped him, clicking his tongue and frowning irritably. Hinata stubbornly moved in his way again, closer this time. He wasn’t tall enough as to directly look himself in the eyes, face to face, but the angle at which he was forced to crane up and Tobio down had decreased. And the setter couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or bad, based off the way Hinata was watching him like a dastardly insect he’d just found.

“What.” It was more a statement than a question. Like, that he’d actually have nothing to say in return. _That_ was a stupid assumption.

Hinata squinted for a second, then exhaled and moved away. He raised an eyebrow and gave Tobio a grin that screamed, soft as ever, _You’re hopeless, Kageyama_. “You look like shit.”

His eye twitched, and he kicked Hinata hard enough to vent his sudden anger. “Shut up.” The smaller jumped around, attempting to stifle cusses and whimpers of pain.

“You wanna fight?” he yelled, pointing a finger at a bored Tobio. “Fight me.” Tears filled his eyes. “That seriously hurt.”

“Why weren’t you in the gym today?” Tobio asked, and they were walking again, relaxed at the broken ice.

Hinata intertwined his fingers together behind his head and fixed the bag so that it wasn’t bumping his neck with every step. “There wasn’t practice today, right?”

The former sent a passing look of vague surprise down. He just looked disinterested, walking with a lazy gait. He must’ve been home already, by his missing bike. “You always go. Every day.”

“I had stuff to do, okay? And I think I’m sick. Jeez. Nag.”

“Whatever.” It was almost completely nighttime by now.

“Why did _you_ go?”

“I _didn’t_ have stuff to do.” Hinata didn’t respond, and Tobio couldn’t help himself. “Bean bun?”

“For my sister.”

“Oh.”

Hinata just hummed. He tilted his head back to watch the stars. “We’re graduating soon,” he breathed, closing his eyes, and Tobio wondered if there was a tone of relief in his voice when he spoke.

“Yeah. I sure as hell won’t miss seeing your ugly face every day.”

“You bastard…” Hinata growled, glaring at him. He must’ve been tired, though, because that was all he did. He sighed, shoulders slumping, and faced forward, biting into the open bun in one hand.

Tobio couldn’t remember the last time he walked home with someone, never mind a girl. Not that Hinata was a girl. And he _certainly_ didn’t want what could very well be his first time walking with someone to be with Hinata of all people. He wrinkled his nose bitterly, looking down at him to jab an insult out of spite. But whatever he’d planned on doing was lost on him.

Hinata was crying.

It was a bit startling to see. Had Tobio done something wrong? Did this have something to do with his not going to practice? What was it people did when others were upset anyways? Why did _Tobio_ have to deal with this? He licked his bottom lip nervously, reaching out a hand to pat his shoulder consolingly. “Hinata, what are you doing? Hinata-”

His hand was slapped away before it could connect. Hinata covered his face with an arm, rubbing furiously, and kept Tobio away with an outstretched hand. “What the hell?” he mumbled, turning away. “Don’t touch me.” It seemed to come off too harsh, so he added a hiccupping chuckle and an “allergies”.

“You don’t _have_ allergies.”

“Shut up.” He picked up a brisk pace, and Tobio almost tripped over his bike trying to catch up. “I-I don’t know why that happened.”

There was a strange tightening in his chest, and Tobio felt the urge to rub his fingers over the crease in between his eyebrows. It felt as if hands were pressing down on his lungs from either side of him, and he breathed deep through an open mouth. The pressure spread up to the base of his throat, and Tobio was pressing the hard muscles of his palms into his eyes. Then his bicycle was topping over, and he was catching it and tripping after Hinata again, who was all the more unaware of his blundering.

It wasn’t the first time when it came to Hinata making Tobio feel unusual emotions. There was that one time, back when there were still middle schoolers, that he’d felt heat pool into his stomach, and his legs had twitched, and he’d wanted to run out that feeling. He had, afterwards. His head felt full and red, and he’d had a residual tic even after the feeling faded. It was beyond anger and bewilderment. And Hinata had caused all of that with a simple look in his eyes; one that said _I can be on your level, too. I’m not below you, and you’re not above me._

“Kageyama.” He glanced around. They were in a housing edition. Everything was thrown into dark shades of blue and black. He and Hinata stopped under a street light. His skin was a sickly yellow under the watery light, and when he tilted his head up to glare impatiently at Tobio, his eyes almost glowed, like dying embers under a sunrise.

“My house…” He trailed off, averting his eyes. They flicked back up. “You kept following me.”

"Oh. See you tomorrow?” Hinata hummed and turned back the way they’d just came with a heavy lag in his step where there would normally be a jump. If Tobio’s assumptions were correct, there _might_ be something wrong with Hinata, what with him crying and then abruptly leaving.

He didn’t dwell on it much, watching his wrist fade from pale to white as he left the street light and moved under the moonlight. Tobio sighed. “Where am I?” he mumbled to no one in particular. He almost turned back to Hinata for directions before remembering that pride existed. _Well, I’m properly lost now._ He’d never been in Hinata’s neighborhood before, and even if he had, everything seemed unfamiliar in the dark. Tobio must’ve missed his turn for his house in chasing after that idiot. He almost yelled Hinata back then and there, face flaming with embarrassment and all.

With that, he stomped forward, towards a group of houses that seemed further apart than they had beforehand. As far as he could tell, he had a ways to go before coming across a main road. He let himself wander off with his thoughts. And the first subject that came to mind was Hinata.

At least, he _was_ thinking about Hinata, until a warm - and quite hairy - mass brushed up against him. Tobio stifled a yelp and jerked back, glancing down. A tabby cat took him in with a bored expression; Tobio crouched down to pet it. It practically tripped over its own legs trying to get away then, and jogged off. He frowned.

Tobio followed the trail of its working haunches into a splash of yellow light, and then it was curling its body around a pair of sneakers, tail sneaking up the pant legs. The owner of the sneakers moved forward. Tobio straightened. He had been walking fast enough to be in and out of the street lights briefly, and as a result, he was in a sort of semi-blindness. He could _see_ , but maybe not the green in the overhead of trees, or the rather small senior running headlong into him.

“You were _watching_ me?” He could see better now that he had paused in the dark, thanks to the cat that was long gone. The skin around Hinata’s eyes was still red. There he was, giving Tobio that look. He rubbed his side where Hinata hit him and gave him an exasperated look.

“It’s only been a few minutes. Someone’s gonna call the cops on you if you keep wandering around petting cats at night.” What a mouthful. “And of course not,” Hinata snarled. He blinked away almost sheepishly and sighed before adding, “I’ll take you home, I guess.”

Tobio wrinkled his nose at Hinata and pushed forward with his bike. “I don’t need _your_ help.”

“ _Huh?_ ” Hinata waved his fists around like it would intimidate him. “I was trying to be nice enough to help your ungrateful butt!” He didn’t try to catch up to Tobio.

“Don’t bother.” He raised a hand. “See you.”

Hinata was quiet. Tobio had gained a handful of feet before Hinata stomped up to him again. “You just can’t leave me alone for five minutes, can you?” Tobio murmured.

“It’s not my fault,” Hinata grumbled, “if you get arrested, I won’t be able to set anything in the spring tournament.”

“That’s completely irrelevant?”

He looked constipated, searching for a snarky response. “Then! No one wants your mangly butt in the gym anyways!”

Tobio grabbed Hinata by the collar with his free hand, his frustration pooling up over the lid. Not only was he lost, but he was lost with _him_ ? “At least say _ass_ ! You’re so childish! Jeez.” He shoved Hinata away. _Ah_. He’d just vented again. “Sorry, Hinata. You’re just so… annoying.”

He cursed under his breath. “Just shut up already, Kageyama! I’m supposed to be leading here.”

“Oh, as _if_.” It seriously pissed Tobio off that he had to deal with him more than usual. At the moment, he really just wanted to kick a rock. Or Hinata. Again. “I can get home by myself.”

“Just let me take you home!” Hinata cried angrily, eyes wild.

They stepped into a street light. “What’s your problem?” Tobio sneered. “Screw off.”

“Why are you so angry? You’d get home a _lot_ faster if you let me get you home.” He looked pained now, and maybe like he was trying to stop arguing. Tobio was too riled up to care now.

His shoulders set, and he clenched his hands into fists. Tobio’s knuckles paled to white against the handlebars. The two left the light. “Just go,” he told Hinata, voice low. Why was Tobio so mad? Why was Hinata so upset about this? He was just trying to help, right? What _was_ either’s problem? “I don’t need you. I don’t _want_ you.”

Hinata’s eyebrows knit together. He pursed his lips, squinting and squaring his shoulders as well. His hurt look evened. “You haven’t changed after all,” he replied, and his voice was quiet and wavering in comparison to his face. “You’re just like you were in junior high.”

A tic set off in Tobio’s eye. He took a deep breath. “Don’t go there.”

“You never accept help from anyone else! Can’t you just accept my help? Or _me_ ? Read the room, Kageyama!” This was so petty. They shouldn’t be so loud at night, especially over something like this. Or maybe this argument was about something completely different in the first place. “You really are just what they say, Kageyama. Just a controlling, insensitive _king_!”

“ _Shut up_ , Hinata!” Tobio yelled.

Hinata bit his lip and watched his shoes. They kept walking. It seemed he didn’t know when to stop, however. And neither did Tobio. “You’re such a…” he trailed off.

“A what? A _butthead_?” Tobio mocked sourly.

“I was thinking asshole, but _that_ works,” he spat.

Tobio gave him a condescending look. The spokes of his bicycle hummed in the silence. They underwent another street light. If this was how partners acted, he wanted none of it. And how far away from home were they anyways? He bit down on his tongue.

“We are the worst partners in the history of volleyball,” Hinata groaned, and one could be fooled by the sudden familiarity of his tone. Perhaps this was over and behind them; or it could be the eye of the storm.

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

Hinata made a noise that was a combination of “eugh” and “igh” and scoffed. “Anyways, have to have the last word, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

Tobio rolled his eyes. “Look who’s talking.”

“See!” He pointed an accusatory finger at Tobio. Hinata huffed. “You’d think you were the same as you were three years ago-”

“God, you just don’t know when to shut up, do you?” Tobio chuckled angrily and gave Hinata a look of amused disbelief. “All you ever do is complain, and then you get mad when other people do, too. Newsflash, Hinata: the world,” he dropped to a low volume, “doesn’t revolve around _you_.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re any different either!” Hinata shouted, his voice ringing. It was deafening after Tobio’s low words, and the two were squabbling again. “You expect everyone to automatically know what you want! You want to be accepted but you don’t even try!”

“That is _not_ true.” Or relevant. Really, their anger was misplaced. Later, after careful consideration, he would suppose that it was just their way of letting out their built up stress over graduation. Or something. No one was _actually_ angry at the other. Of course. That’s how it always was.

“It _is_ ! You’re shallow and insensitive and so _stupid_ ! So unbearably _stupid_!” Hinata’s voice is deafeningly high pitched when he yells, for a male. It makes Tobio’s ears hurt.

He doesn’t care.

They’ve completely stopped for the umpteenth time, and Tobio is having a hard time seeing, as to how dark it is. “You drive me insane!” he countered. “All day, everyday, all you do is nag me! Bother me! Leave me alone, Hinata! Go away. I don’t want you near me! _I never have!_ ”

 Tobio doesn’t mean this. He doesn’t mean anything rude he’s said all night. He’s never meant any of it. Hinata doesn’t understand that. He lets out a pained yell and before Tobio can do more than widen his eyes he’s pummeled him, pushing Tobio away until he trips over a curb and falls on his back into warm grass, elbows sinking into dirt. Hinata goes with him, and he starts _punching_ Tobio. And he’s crying again, and Tobio had no idea, and it’s suddenly cold outside.

 “You fucking _idiot_ ,” Hinata sobs brokenly, and Tobio has never heard him curse that way before. Hinata’s eyes are closed, squeezed shut, but tears manage to come out, and they hit Tobio on his cheek, on the base of his throat, on his lips. His tears are salty- they should be, but it’s a surprise anyways. “You’re _such_ an idiot.”

 “Get off me, you…” Tobio can’t find the words. This was how it always was. Hinata _always_ cried over something irrelevant. He _always_ looked this in pain when they fought. His chest went tight again. Tobio breathed heavily, his breath inhaling dry and making him want to cough, and he exhaled cool, making his teeth ache. It was _never_ like this. “You dumbass.” It was a breath.

 Hinata is sitting on his lap, and his legs are tangled somewhere underneath and behind him. He’s hunched over, hands wet with tears resting in fists on Tobio’s chest. Hinata is just _staring_ , chin trembling and head cocked and tears dripping on Tobio. His shoulders slumped.

 Tobio’s legs were tingling from Hinata’s weight, and he grabbed up Hinata’s fists with his cold fingers. “Don’t touch me!” Hinata gasped, pulling his hands away.

 Tobio dug his elbows further into the grass, trying to sit up. “Get _off_ , you feel like dead weight! Hinata-”

 “ _Jeez!_ ” Hinata wailed and slapped his hands onto Tobio.. They were hot and wet on his cheeks. Hinata pressed on his face, pushing up Tobio’s cheeks against his wide eyes, and pulled him closer, and he shoved his mouth on Tobio, and oh _God_ , Hinata was kissing him.

 It was surprising. Tobio’s eyes strained, and Hinata’s were furrowed shut. His elbows were sore against the uneven ground, and his back stung in the awkward position. He’d never had the pressure of lips on his before. That was all Hinata was doing - pressing his lips against Tobio’s - but it was enough. Hell, even his _lips_ were wet and salty - how hard was he crying? How did Tobio not notice?

Tobio found his head then, and shifted his weight onto one elbow, wincing. He dug a hand up Hinata’s chest, pressing his palm flat right below his collarbone and pushing Hinata away and off him. He tumbled back and watched Tobio with the most pathetic eyes he’d ever seen on him. Feeling quite flabbergasted and blinking like a madman, Tobio hurriedly got to his feet. And almost tottered back over as pinpricks of electricity coursed over his legs. His arms felt stretched and sore with dirt imprints on the skin.

 “I-” Tobio started loudly. All he could see was the crown of Hinata’s hair, his hunched back. “I should go. It’s late…” He faltered, awkwardly brushing down his clothes. “We have school tomorrow.” He lifted his bike, which had been lying rather precariously close to danger in the road.

 Hinata’s back faced him. Tobio’s brows creased, and he took a handful of steps backwards before turns around, dragging his bike along and leaving Hinata in the grass on the side of the road. “I’m sorry,” Tobio mumbled once he was out of earshot. It took walking straight down a road, passing momentarily under streetlight after streetlight and earning back his vague blindness, for quite a few minutes, until he reached a main road, and the end of the neighborhood.

 Actually, it could have been either a few minutes or the verge of one. The knotting in his chest really messed up his accuracy in measuring time. His stomach felt like assorted fruit in a blender, to put it frankly. Mixing and shredding and grinding and churning. His heart ached at the speed it was going. It refused to rhyme with the passing of his feet as he crossed the road and turned right.

 Yes, this pass, he knew.

 Tobio hadn’t even thanked Hinata - although it wasn’t like he’d exactly _helped_ this evening. He was trying his hardest not to think about Hinata right now. No, he was trying his hardest not to _think_. When he took a look at the sky above, he thought for a moment that the stars were out. But when he blinked, they were gone, and Tobio knew it must’ve been a trick of the - at this time - light.

 It was close now, his home. He was on the opposite end of where he usually turned but it was his neighborhood, nonetheless. On hot summer days, when his house was an oven cooking him from the outside in, he’d ride around by bicycle, and as most days, his house liked to play the part of a cooking device, and so he rode. Even after all these years, however, Tobio didn’t realize he lived so close to Hinata. But he wasn’t thinking about him right now.

 He focused on how his foam handle rests were slippery with the sweat on his palms, how he gulped on air like he was choking, and how his heart pounded incessantly against his ribcage. Tobio took deep breaths as if he were in a match on the court, but his lungs were swallowed up by the sensation of his throat closing and he was back to gulping like his tongue was made of sand.

 When he trudged down the driveway, propped the bike against the side of the house, and had made his way up his porch stairs, his pulse seemed to have finally recollected its sense and calmed down. Maybe it was the distance and him away from Hinata that did it. No, he wasn’t thinking about that right now.

 However, as he turned the key in the doorknob and closed the front door on his way inside, his mind wasn’t having it. Right when that door shut, another one inside Tobio opened, and thoughts about _what the hell happened?_ today came pouring in. He pressed his palm flat on a wall to support his balance, gripping his thigh with the other. “ _What_ ,” he breathed mutely.

  _What? What happened? Why is Hinata being like that? Is it my fault? Maybe he’s sick. Why did I leave him alone? Does this have to deal with his sister? Or is it really just me? Why is he avoiding me at school and acting like that privately? Why do I have to deal with this? Is he okay?_

  _Is he okay?_

 It’s not like Tobio had a choice in the matter. If he’d stayed… God only knows how he might have responded to Hinata. He means, Hinata _kissed_ him. As soon as the action and its word connected, a new wave of nausea came rolling in like the tide in Tobio’s stomach. His hand tightened on his knee. _Hinata kissed me_ . He slid to the floor. _He kissed me_. His brain felt fuzzy, like someone had collected dryer lint all month and shoved it into his brain, through his ears.

  _What are you going to do, Kageyama Tobio?_ He thought of how well the team would function tomorrow - today? - at practice. And that brought him to his career assignment, and being restricted from the gym. “Well, damn,” he whispered, eyes sliding shut. “I’ll have to get right on that.” His heart pounded to a muffled tune somewhere over the fuzz in his ears.

 He couldn’t feel his legs. He could _definitely_ move them if he wanted to, so there was absolutely no worry at all if he tried to relax for a minute right here. He’d deal with his report and Hinata and the gym tomorrow, and it’d be okay, because he always figured things out in time. Always just in time.

 The next time Tobio opened his eyes, he could see around him. _Ah_ . He’d really fallen asleep in front of the door. What time was it, he wondered? He tensed to get up and immediately winced, cringing at the pain in his neck. _Don’t fall asleep right side up anymore, Tobio_. Was today Saturday? Or Friday? No, Saturday. He had practice at ten in the school gym. What time was it now? he thought again.

 Slowly, he craned his neck to one side, trying to stretch out the cramp. The skin under his eyes seemed to drag at his eyelids, and he yawned into a palm indented with the print of his floor. Then every part of last night was flooding into his head and he was groaning into his palm instead.

 A stranger was knocking at the door. Rather loudly.

 “Kageyama!” he heard, foggy through the door. “Open up, bastard!” A resounding “Yeah!” came after, gruffly. _Ah._ It was _them_. “Oy!” “Oy!” Rubbing at his face, Tobio stood and opened the door. Immediately, he was pummeled by two pairs of hands, grabbing at his shirt collar and shaking him by his head. “Listen here, you little shit!” “Yeah! Kageyama, missing out on practice!” “Worrying Yachi sick!” “Can’t believe-!” “Twerp!” “Making a lady feel worried and you open the door this easily!” “Cheeky brat!” “Yah!”

 “Good morning, Tanaka, Nishinoya,” Tobio mumbled bleakly, his voice garbled by the thumb pressing into his gums and the fist under his jaw.

 “Take that good morning and shove it up your ass!” Tanaka shouted, pressing his fist deeper into Tobio’s Adam’s apple. He didn’t seem to be in a very good mood. “You’re late!”

 “You don’t even go to Karasuno anymore, how do you know where I live?”

 “Oy, oy, oy,” Nishinoya snarled, shooting a grin up at Tobio. “We know everything about everyone! We’re the crow’s shadow! We never leave!” Tanaka pounded his chest and howled.

 Tobio averted his eyes, blushing. “You’re embarrassing me.”

 “ _You’re_ embarrassing _us_! Did we raise you to be such a fucking normie?” Tanaka lowered his tone, eyes darting dramatically. “I can’t even be seen in public with you like this.”

 Nishinoya laughed gruffly and jabbed a thumb in Tanaka’s direction. “Ryuu couldn’t _wait_ to see you guys today. And,” he added, eyes flattening and lips dropping, “this is how you treat us seniors?”

 “No, I mean, you’re embarrassing me by yelling so loud so early in the morning. Get inside, you two.”

 “You come _outside_!” Both grabbed at him and pulled. Nishinoya sent up a wild smile. “‘Afternoon, Sleeping Beauty.” Tobio rolled his eyes and looked away, bangs flopping on his forehead from the dragging and stumbling. “There’s drool on your chin.” He wiped furiously.

 Nishinoya skipped ahead, whistling with both hands locked behind his head. Tobio wouldn’t look at him and be reminded. “Do…” he started quietly. Tanaka leaned in and hummed with an air of question. “Do you go to the same college as someone else from our team? Either of you?”

 Nishinoya’s shoulders sagged, and he dropped his arms. Tanaka closed his eyes and hummed again. “No,” said Tanaka. Nishinoya kicked a pebble. _Asahi_ , the former mouthed at Tobio and pursed his lips sadly, like Tobio would have any clue what he was noting at. “Hey, hey,” Tanaka piped up, stabbing an index finger into Tobio’s right cheek. “Why were you sleeping at your front door?” He laughed.

 “How did you know?”

 “Your windows-” he paused to laugh and slap his knee - for some unknown reason - before adding “-don’t have any blinds or shutters on them.”

 Nishinoya giggled. “Nothing! Every peeping Tom in town comes by just to take a look at the infamous slobber mouth!”

 “Shut up.” _Hey, Loser Kageyama, what are you doing, leaving your blinds up at night like an idiot? And falling asleep too! Idiot, idiot!_ It was all too plausible. “What time is it?”

 “Noon!” Nishinoya ran back to Tobio to join hands with Tanaka on either side of him. “Noon, noon!” They laughed, jumping in circles. “Noonie noon!”

 “It’s mind-blowing how you two made it into college. Why are you two so hyper today anyways?”

 Tanaka puffed his chest and bunched his hands at his collarbone. “Kageyammie, you never treat me right!” he pouted, giving Nishinoya doe eyes. Said person closed his eyes and jerked his head away from Tanaka, placing his fingertips to his forehead and sighing.

 “I’ll never want you, Hinata.” Tobio blanched.

 “Oh, but Kageyammie~!” Tanaka wiggled his torso and blushed. “Let me kiss you.”

 “I can’t let go of my milk for this… We’re not meant to be-”

 “Stop!” Both paused their act and gave Tobio looks of mild surprise. He was beet red, breathing heavily and sweating through his school uniform. “That’s messed up. You watched us? What the hell?”

 Nishinoya cocked his head. “What are you talking about?”

 “This is our reenactment of how you two act at practice every day,” Tanaka finished boldly, fanning a hand in his face and fluttering his eyelashes.

 Tobio huffed. “Well, cut it out!” He pushed past the two with stomping feet. They stared after him in astonishment, and looked at each other the same. Slow smiles creeped on their faces, and they jogged after the senior.

 “Hinata and Kageyama-”

 “-sittin’ in a tree-”

 “-K-I-S-S-I-N-”

 “ _Stop!_ ” Tobio slapped his hands to his face. “That’s disgusting, you _know_ we’re not g- ga- g- g…”

 Tanaka deadpanned. Nishinoya gave his annoying gravelly laugh and pointed, holding his stomach. “Ya’ boy’s gay!”

 “A _raging_ homosexual!”

 “Ga- ga- gaggin’ on that slick d-”

 “I _said_ !” Tobio’s vision spun. He waved his hands at the lunatic pair, the ground spinning under his feet. “I _said_ ,” he panted. “Stop now. Please. It’s not like that. You two are too childish!”

 “Kageyama, you’re eighteen and you haven’t even considered Hinata yet?”

 “Hinata is a _male_ , at least I think, and even so, we most certainly do _not_ -”

 And the two were back at it again, linking arms and dancing in circles, catcalling Tobio as his face burned. They turned around and skipped that way, up the road to the school and singing various sex songs. Tobio bit his lip and fixed his eyes on the ground, following up the rear with both hands in swinging fists at his sides.

 They had gone through five songs, and were now at an American one called… hmm, he couldn’t translate it into Japanese but from the way they spoke it sounded like a “Salt” and “Pepper” were singing it, by the time he could see the school gates. “Salt and… Pepper?” Tobio murmured, slurring his words (he was never much good in English).

 “Bakageyama!” Nishinoya chortled, slapping him in the back a few times. “Salt-N-Pepa!” He spelled it out- with the English alphabet- but Tobio wasn’t a hair less confused. Noticing this, the shorter frowned and skipped forward “Looks like our Kageyammie needs a lesson the American way!” Nishinoya cried, ending the sentence in English. Him and Tanaka danced backwards into school property jointly shouting a slew of English gibberish.  

 “Well?” One of them asked, both scraping their shoes on the dirt soil and spinning back to wrap arms around Tobio. “What happened? Tell us _all_ the details.”

 Tobio gritted his teeth and swatted at their hands, tickling his neck. “What?”

 “You know.” Tanaka raised his eyebrows and hooded his eyes, bumping hips with Tobio. “You. Hinata. What did you mean earlier by,” he puckered his lips and squeaked, “‘You were watching us? What the hell?’” Tobio groaned. “Yeah, don’t think we didn’t pick up on _that_ one.”

 “Hey, hey,” the other cooed, “let us _know_!”

 “W-well,” Tobio practically spat, “It’s not like I’d tell Thing One and Thing Two anything anyways, so screw off!” He scratched his cheek and bit his lip. Nishinoya stuck his tongue out and Tanaka scoffed roughly, getting spittle on Tobio’s ear.

 “So he really did kiss you?”

 “No! I mean, no.” He sighed. “Look, I think Hinata is sick.”

 “Sick?”

 “Yeah, a few days ago, in gym, he said he feels sick when he looks at me.”

 Nishinoya took one look at Tanaka and the two burst into laughter- again. “Sick!” Tanaka sobbed, holding his stomach and leaning on Nishinoya. The other was too busy laughing to say anything, and the two wobbled in their steps.

 Kageyama shoved at them. “It’s not funny!”

 Tanaka sighed and wiped at his eyes. “Ah, right, right.”

 "We came to pick you up, that’s right!” Nishinoya added.

 “Pick me up?”

 He hummed, nodding. “Yamaguchi said something about a career assignment.”

 Tobio deadpanned, and the trio paused, staring in wait. _Right_. “Well, then,” Tobio started, and spun around, sprinting. He had only made it to the school gates when Nishinoya slid feet first from under him and Tanaka tackled him. “Let me go!” he cried, holding onto a gate end with both hands.

 “Shut _up_!” Tanaka grunted, kicking his knuckles and pulling at Tobio. The senior sucked his fingers bitterly. “Why haven’t you decided yet?” Tobio averted his eyes and Tanaka made an exasperated noise. “Hey!” He kicked him again.

 “I can’t decide!”

 “ _What?_ ” Nishinoya put him in a headlock, and they wrestled in the dirt by the gates. “Just put volleyball, you don’t _actually_ have to do the career you write down! Dumbass!” Tanaka crossed his arms and stared down at the two menacingly. “Is it on you now?” the smaller asked. He scrambled a hand into each of Tobio’s pocket, wrapping the other around his neck. Tobio squirmed, cursing and pounding at him.

 Nishinoya pulled out a slip of white paper and, snickering, pushed Tobio away from him. Tanaka and Tobio rushed him simultaneously, both crying for the application. He shoved them both off with a hand and read with an air of royalty: “‘Job Form: Kageyama Tobio.’ Where do you want to go, Kageyama? ‘Side note: Please disregard any thoughts on adding selections such as “I don’t know” or “ _Hikikomori_ ”. Thank you, and please have this,’” here Tobio had already memorized the side note by his teacher- the words were underlined for significance, “‘ final application turned in by the date below. -Tomura.’ What the hell, Kageyama!” Nishinoya was laughing too hard to continue at this point. “ _Hikikomori!_ I can’t believe this!”

 “You can’t practice in the gym until you turn this in, right?” Tanaka added, shaking. “This is hilarious!”

 Tobio, burning a dark scarlet and biting his bottom lip, finally got his hands on the form and snatched it away. “Well!” he started indignantly. “What did you two put on yours? I bet it was something amazing, by the way you’re acting now.”

 The two gave each other a look. Nishinoya stood and both wrapped an arm around each other, smiling. Tobio followed and crossed his arms. “Rocket Scientist,” both chimed in English, flashing pearly teeth. Tobio deadpanned. “Who knows! Maybe NASA will take us in one day,” Nishinoya ululated, looking characteristically sincere.

 “NASA doesn’t send rockets into space anymore. They’re American anyways, and you two suck at English.”

 “Still! Have hope for us!”

 “No one can crush our dreams for wanting to be something so humongous, so they had to accept our applications - even if our colleges were just the local ones, haha.”  

 “That’s not something to laugh about!” Tobio huffed and glared down at the paper. “I…” His heart felt tight. “I want want this to be sincere. I don’t know why. It just does.”

 Tanaka cocked his head. “Just put volleyball. You’re so sincere about that!” He chortled.

 “I don't…”

 “Ah.” Tanaka perked up at something behind Tobio, towards the school. “I see Hinata.”

 Tobio spun but saw nothing. “You bastard!” He shouted, lifting a fist. Ridiculing him like that, around the subject of Hinata - he was mad now, this was too irritating to deal with so early on a Saturday, absolutely ridiculous-

 “No, I saw him too, really!” Nishinoya called, “Hinata!” and then shrugged. “He ran off.”

 Tobio sighed and turned fully, walking towards the school. He shoved the slip back into his pocket. “I’m going to talk to him - you two back _off_.”

 “Ooh, defensive about his lover, now!” Nishinoya catcalled him and both whistled, dancing suggestively. He waved them off and quickened his pace.

 There was a lot to think about already, and it was only - what was it? He checked his phone - noon. He sighed again, scratching his head. This was all so _stupid_ . Why did Hinata have to act like that? They were graduating, he shouldn’t have started something like this so late in the game. His thoughts went in circles. If he had only told Tobio sooner… that he was so _different_ . He might have been able to help, or call for someone, or _something_.

 He shouldn’t have ran off on him last night like that. But what else was there to do? What did it mean? Why would Hinata - he shivered to think of _it_ again. He had to talk to him at least, right? They were graduating in less than a month. This was ridiculous.

 The dynamic duo, their height of popularity, the climax of their high school life, was over. Statistics say these awful things about everyone spreading out after graduation, never to see or pretend to like or love again. Never to be important. If Hinata knew about all of this, knew that he would statistically never see Tobio or anyone else ever again, knew about all of the stress waiting for him outside of those school gates, _why_ on _Earth_ would he kiss Tobio?

 Tobio made a sort of gagging noise and covered his mouth, flushing. He’d thought the word before he could stop himself. _Hinata kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me…!_ It filled his head like hot air into a balloon until it was all he could think about, until it _was_ his air, and he was biting his lip again and rubbing his cheeks like it would take the blush off.

 He looked up, exhaling deep and rubbing his temples. Hinata was the last thing he wanted to worry about over everything else going on at the moment, and yet… he seemed to be the first thing in his mind. Speaking of Hinata, there he was, standing in the second floor corridor and glaring down at Tobio. “Bloody luck I have,” he mumbled, and then shouted up, “Oy!”

 Hinata closed his eyes and grimaced, scratching his hair feverishly. Then he bent over to pull up the window and leaned into it. “What?” He called back down.

 "I need to talk to you.”

 “ _What?_ ”

 He scoffed and raised his tone. “I said, I need to talk to you!” He stepped closer to the school wall, craning his neck up to see better. “About us.”

 Hinata looked away, laying his head in the sill on top of crossed arms. Tobio could only imagine how ridiculous he looked from inside the hallway, and rubbed his neck in mute amusement. The redhead flopped an arm out of the window, pointing lazily at him. “You missed practice.” He said it so blandly, yet it completely avoided the situation at hand.

 Tobio put a hand on his hip and blew at the hair on his forehead in irritation. “Well, no shit.”

 “So?” Hinata pulled his arm back in.

 “So what?”

 “Are you gonna go make up the skipped practice?”

 Tobio gave him a withering look. “I need to talk to you.”

 Even from this distance, he could see Hinata gulp. He raised his head off of his arms and gave a miniscule nod before slamming the window back into its slot. Tobio watched him move away, down the corridor.

 He waited. It was on the shadowy side of the school, so he turned around and knelt in the grass by the wall, feeling at his fingernails. They really were getting a bit on the long side. Tobio frowned in distaste. Friday night was a wasted night; he usually spent it trimming said nails, or watching a documentary on whatever was on local television. A pleasing night, spent curating his favorite green tea, watching a grain to see if it would be on its side or floating right side up in the middle and watching a cactus his mother gave him last year. “You ought to be less prickly, Tobio - maybe this will absorb all that coldness,” she had said with a soft smile.

 He felt the grass by his shoes and kneaded dew into his fingerpads. Mountains loomed in the distance, and the sun, much like Hinata, seemed to lay its head over folded arms and peek down at Tobio from the roof above him. _I’m not bored enough to sleep this time_ . It was always like this, he thought, the mountains oppressive and the sun coy. _Like a cage_. He snorted at that and scratched his cheek.

 And then Hinata was there, and they were staring blankly at each other, and Tobio’s eyes fidgeted and he said, quite embarrassingly, “W-well, sit.” He did, and immediately couldn’t sit at all. Tobio’s eyes wandered into the horizon, and he wondered what it would be like, not being allowed to do things like this after they graduated. More than sitting in the shade of the building, but seeing Hinata almost daily. That thought made him queasy suddenly.

 They began at the same time. “Hinata-” “Tobio!” Hinata pouted and Tobio flushed. “You go,” Tobio mumbled. He had no trouble yelling up at him to come down and talk, but now that he was actually _here_ , he felt uncomfortable. Hinata was there, in the flesh, and he wasn’t crying or kissing him or ignoring him. The easiness felt uneasy.

 “Kageyama, I think I’m sick.”

 Tobio sent him raised eyebrows. “You think so too? That’s what I thought.”

 “Really?” He sighed and leaned back against the wall, apparently relieved. “Good, because I was unsure. I don’t know how to fix this. It doesn’t feel like a cold or anything, and _food_ isn’t making me feel better-”

 “I don’t think…” Tobio chuckled, unlike him.

 “When I look at you, I-I feel sick.”

 “Oy,” he grumbled, raising a hand. Hinata waved it away and wrapped his arms around his torso.

 A butterfly stumbled by. “Um…” Hinata trailed off. “You don’t make me want to punch you anymore.” He bit his lip and then smiled painfully. “You know?”

 Tobio got on his knees and pushed Hinata. “I’m about to punch _you_!” He exhaled. “But… I think I feel the same. Maybe you gave me your cold.”

 “I said it wasn’t a cold!”

 “Yeah, yeah.” He scooted back to his section of the wall. “Then, what do _you_ think it is? And I still have a piece of my mind to give you about last night.”  
Hinata was flamboyantly red all of a sudden. “I don’t want a piece of your mind!” He screeched, waving his arms. He was overwhelmingly red now, from the tips of his bangs licking at his burning ears, to the base of his neck, riddled with freckles. “My mouth isn’t saying what I want to say-” that made no sense to him, by the way, “-and my brain feels all fuzzy whenever you come up, and my heart feels tight right now!” Tears prickled at his eyes, and he grasped at his chest.

 “When I see you, Tobio… um… I don’t know.” He furrowed his eyebrows and looked away nervously. “I don’t know. Uh, I feel- I feel like crying even though I’m so _happy_ , for some reason. It’s so dumb. Do you get what I feel like? Right?” His eyes were hopeful. “I start getting these thoughts that aren’t mine, can’t be mine, and it makes me feel all… _blah_ inside. But at the same time I feel all _whoosh_ , you know?”

 "No.”

 Hinata’s eyes were downcast. He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t.”

 Tobio felt complicated. “When…” Hinata glanced back up, and he stumbled, continuing. “When I got home last night, Hinata… I think I felt the same. I think we’re both sick with this.” His chest felt constricted, like someone had tied his arms behind his back and pressed down on his abdomen. It was a strange feeling, and he breathed deeply. “I don’t feel as much as you do, so I can’t relate as much, but… I think I’m the same. I think.”

 Hinata gulped. “The thoughts keep telling me to kiss you.”

 Tobio flinched and looked away. “That word again…”  

“Have you ever been kissed?”

 “P-pardon?”

 The redhead pursed his lips and scratched his neck. “I mean - before last night.”

 “Yes.”

 “E-eh?!” Hinata leaned away. “Seriously?” Then he deadpanned. “I mean, not by family members.”

 “Ah. Then no.” That was embarrassing. Hinata nodded and murmured “same” and then the two were quiet again. Tobio’s back ached from the posture he had fixed himself into from discomfort with the situation. His licked his lips and tasted sour in the back of his throat.

 “Kageyama,” Hinata began again, looking sickly flushed and not meeting his eyes, “if you would say something more, that would make me feel better, I think.” Tobio gave a strange look. _Say something more?_ “Or touch me.” Tobio choked on his spit and went into a coughing fit. Hinata shivered. “I-” He made a small noise. “I didn’t mean to say that, oh my gosh.” He covered his face, rubbed it, and then looked up again. “Did you finish talking to me? We should probably go explain to Yamaguchi where we’ve been.”

 Tobio sighed and swallowed down something hard. “I wanted… Hinata, I’m - this is really hard for me to say, you see, I just - well, I’m - well, I’m sorry.” Hinata looked mildly surprised. “I shouldn’t have left, I…” He stared openmouthed at his hands, curled upwards. “I shouldn’t have left you. I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what I would’ve done by staying but I shouldn’t have left.” He let Hinata see his pained look. “I’m so sorry.”

 Hinata was quiet. There was awe in his eyes, and Tobio frowned. “That was _so_ shitty of me. I won’t do it again, I promise. Oh.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out the job form. “This too. I can’t figure out what to put.” He unfolded it and handed it to Hinata, who took one look at it and burst into laughter. “Yes.” He looked to the side, pursing his lips. “They had the same reaction.” Hinata kept laughing, and Tobio burned scarlet. “Stop laughing so hard, dumbass!” He clocked him upside the head.

 “Idiot, idiot, idiot Bakageyama!” Hinata was still giggling. “You can’t even fill out a job form!” He was kicking his feet and sobbing. Wiping at his eyes, he gave Tobio one of the most genuine smiles he’d seen from the guy in weeks. “Are you stupid? Just put volleyball.”

 Tobio ducked his head, and felt something press against his lungs. “All of them said the same thing too. I just _can’t_ , Hinata, I…” He broke off, digging his fist into his cheek with frustration. His lack of vocabulary was especially torturous during moments like these, when his heart felt tight and his brain was empty.

 He shoved at Tobio and frowned. “Stupid! It’s what I put!”

 “I know, I just…”

 “I thought we were partners? The dynamic duo? What the hell?” Tobio looked up, dropping his hand. “I thought we were always gonna be partners. Am I wrong?”

 His eyes widened. “Always? I thought-”

 “Thought what? Everyone was gonna leave poor Kageyama in the dust once April came along? You really are stupid. We’re _partners_. You’re just afraid of being alone, in the end. Stupid.”

 Tobio’s mouth dropped open. He stared at Hinata, who seemed so sure of the future, who was smiling in support of him, who was acting like Tobio was always going to be with him, Like that was a given. He let out a breathy chuckle, dipping his head again. “Right.” His eyes stung. Right. “Thanks, Hinata.” He allowed himself a smile, too. “Thank you.”

 Hinata hummed, and they sat, looking up at the sky. “I… I feel a lot better after talking, Hinata. Or-or trying to.” He nodded in response. Then he turned back towards Tobio for the infinite time. Tobio glanced down.

 "This.” He handed the paper back. “Make sure you fill it out soon, or else I won’t be able to set anyone. Also… Me too. I shouldn’t have done what I did. We’re seniors now. We could use less injuries from each other.” He chuckled, and Tobio saw something of maturity in him for the first time.

 “Right.” He touched the paper, and his fingers brushed up against Hinata’s. He winced, and Tobio jerked the paper back. His heart was racing. Before reasoning himself not to - in which neither were very well good at - he put his hand back on Hinata’s, who shuddered again. The paper fell from his hands. Tobio couldn’t meet Hinata’s eyes, and he bit his lip. _Stop doing this,_ he thought feverishly. _Nah,_ he thought back.

 His eyes were hooded, and he counted the freckles on Hinata’s hand. “I…” It was a whisper, less than a breath. He could hear Hinata inhale shakily. Tobio brushed his hand up Hinata’s arm, letting only a whisper of his fingertips touch his skin. Goosebumps rose. “I think…” He watched his arm as it traveled up, past his shoulder, and to his face. It stayed there, and Tobio looked at the ground. “What am I doing?” He thought aloud, laughing breathily.

 Hinata wasn’t saying anything, and Tobio finally snuck a look. He was brick red, shaking and looking desperate for something. “I think I-” He swallowed and cut off.

 “Gosh, I’m dying for some release of sexual tension here, don’t you think? Christ on a stick.” The pair jumped and moved away from each other clumsily, looking around. “God, I might die of waiting for something to happen.” A giggle came after, and Tobio looked behind Hinata. “Hi, Kageyama, Hinata. You guys got really gay after we graduated.”

 “S-Suga…!” Hinata gasped, and then yelled panicked animalistic noises upon realizing he had seen that scene. Tobio could only watch, speechless and blinking.

 Sugawara was leaning against the brick wall and, upon realizing the two had identified him, straightened, unfolding his arms. He smiled widely and added, “You two are in big trouble.”

 The two froze.

 The former member took a step forward, and the duo leaned back simultaneously. “Missing out on practice to make love confessions behind the school… Scandalous.”

 “Love?” Tobio mumbled.

 Sugawara hummed, swinging his hands. “Refusing to turn in required forms, getting banned from the gym… and now this.” His smile looked less positive now. “What a bunch of troublemakers. Whatever did we do to deserve you two?” He knelt by the seniors. “Daichi and I came on invitation from Noya and Tanaka to see the team practice for the spring tournament. What a shock to find two of its members missing such an important day.” He cocked his head. “Why is that?”

 “I-I…” Hinata was too shell-shocked to properly form a response. Tobio felt dread drop like lead in his stomach. Sugawara was _pissed_.

 “I think we should make our way back to the gymnasium now, don’t you two think so?” They nodded fiercely. He broadened his smile. “Good! What’s that paper there, Kageyama?” Tobio scooped up the form and tucked it into his pocket, standing. “I hope that’s for Yamaguchi. Come on, now.”

 They followed Sugawara to the gymnasium like a pair of criminals caught for some devious act. And maybe they were, to be completely honest with himself. Sugawara was good at that, catching people red-handed for the exact things they didn’t want anyone to know about. There was more to think through after what had happened today, and Tobio didn’t think he would be able to focus correctly for afternoon practice.

 He couldn’t, for that matter. What usually ended in him being a perfectionist about his actions with Hinata ended today as Yamaguchi sitting him down in a corner by the bench and a basket of Mikasa balls. “Stay there until you figure out what your problem is,” he said with a tone of concern. “If I had known you were going to be like this, I would’ve taken the job form and kept you out of the gym still.” Hinata watched darkly from the court, on the other side of the net.

 That day was a blur for him. So was Sunday, and then it was lunchtime on Monday before he returned to his senses. He’d spent his day off watching his cactus and attempting to trim his nails. That hadn’t gone well, by the prickling pain in his nubs as he held his chopsticks. He couldn’t taste his rice, and that had been what brought him back down to Earth with finality and a bitter taste in his mouth. Blood had crusted around what was left of some of his nails. He glared at them. “That’s irritating.”

 “What is?” He jumped and looked up. Yachi was smiling down at him, holding her lunchbox. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” He shook his head, watching her curiously as she pulled a nearby desk up to his. She unwrapped a polka dot cloth from around her box, and pulled a pair of chopsticks from a latch on the side. “Neat, isn’t it? I rather like using this box.” She laughed nervously.

 He was in his English class, so she must have been walking down the halls looking for him during lunch break. “Yachi,” he breathed, more to say it than anything. She hummed and raised her eyebrows, opening her box before glancing up. Her hair had rolled forward in her movements, and she tucked some back behind her ear.

 “Last week was crazy, wasn’t it?” She had a mixture of a hum and a giggle. “You seemed kind of out of it on Saturday, so I thought I’d check up on you during lunch. You alright?” She flushed, remembering something. “Also, I’m so, so, _so_ sorry for Friday afternoon. With the nosebleed and Tsukkishima and everything. That seems like ages ago, though, doesn’t it?” He nodded, a small smile on his face. For how stressful her life seemed, she tried her best to cheer everyone up.

 "It’s okay, Yachi, I promise.”

 “I know, I just…” She laughed like it would explain, biting down on an octopus sausage and covering her mouth to chew. “Are you and Hinata doing alright?” she added once she swallowed.

 Tobio choked on his milk, and she jumped up, startled at him pounding on his chest. “Kageyama!” She cried. Some of his classmates turned to look. He raised a hand, keeping her away. Milk was streaming out of his mouth and nose, and his eyes burned. He tried to laugh through it, grabbing a napkin he’d brought and dabbing at his face and uniform. “Jesus!” She stomped, seeming upset enough to disrespect an entire religion. “Kageyama, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize it was such a sensitive topic to you! I always make you trip or hurt you or- _ugh_! I’m so sorry!”

 “It-it’s okay, Yachi,” he said in between coughs. They both sat back down. “I’m okay, really.” He laughed, and soon Yachi joined, albeit nervously. “Hinata and I, we…” he poked at his rice with a chopstick. “I dunno.”

 “Don’t you have gym after this class?” She asked. He nodded. “And you have that class with him, right?” He nodded again, tentatively this time. Her face relaxed, and she smiled. “Talk to him. You know, communication is a key for relationships - ah! I-I meant that as in bonds, like friendship or volleyball partners, not as…” She stuttered and made gestures with her hands awkwardly before sighing and dropping her hands. “You know what I mean.”

 A warning bell rang. She jerked. “Oh no, I just started, too…” She began eating as fast as possible while still appearing polite. Tobio did the same.

 He spent the rest of his English class thinking about his lunch encounter. _Were_ we doing alright? He thought with question. That moment… His skin had been so warm. Tobio must not have been in his right mind, to do that to another male. Ugh, the thought itself made him start to heat up. He pushed his mouth into the palm of his hand, fighting the embarrassment. He couldn’t stop thinking about the freckles on Hinata, even when the teacher asked him to translate a passage on the board.

 Hinata was waiting for him in the gym locker room. He watched Tobio as he came to his shelf, taking out his clothes. Hinata waited on the bench for him to change, watching other boys leave the room to go outside. Tobio sent sneaking glances, pulling his shirt over his head. He wondered what Hinata wanted. It wasn’t like they could sit and have a deep, girly talk session in the locker room anyways, especially since the teachers did a locker room check fifteen minutes after class started.

 The room slowly dimmed in noise, male laughter and running water faucets dwindling in numbers. When the last person left, the door sliding shut, Tobio had been standing there, fully clothed in shorts and a tee shirt, staring at Hinata who was still observing something away from him.

 His head twisted back suddenly to glare up at Tobio, and he jumped back. Hinata stood from the bench and grabbed his hand, his eyes lit with some fierce thought. He silently pulled Tobio away from his shelf and through the emergency exit door, instead of the one leading out of the locker room. Tobio’s hand was itching, and he wanted nothing more than to yank it out of of Hinata’s grasp as much as he wanted to keep it there. He didn’t pull away. Maybe he had been waiting for this all weekend.

 Sunlight shone into his eyes. “They’ll catch us out here,” Tobio said, breaking the silence. “The cameras-” he stopped. Hinata closed his eyes and faced Tobio. The door shut rather harshly behind him. The sun was beating down on the two, shadowing over Hinata. He opened his eyes. Tobio’s stomach rolled. He swallowed hard.

 Hinata exhaled hard and a tremor rolled through his body once. He fisted a hand into the collar of Tobio’s shirt and pulled him down to his level. Tobio licked his lips and could only wait. Hinata lips parted, and he looked like he was going to say something, anything, but then his eyes leveled and he kissed Tobio.

 Gosh, and it felt like the bundle of nerves in Tobio’s stomach immediately tightened and then fell apart, and he could finally relax after all this time. Hinata pulled back then, letting him go. It had only lasted a moment. “I only wanted to do that one more time. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first but-”

 Tobio cut him off by cupping his face and smashing his lips onto Hinata’s. “Me too,” he breathed against Hinata, “me too.” Hinata laughed airily and then shivered when Tobio sucked on his bottom lip. Hinata pushed a finger in between them and held Tobio back. “What,” he looked widely up at him. “What was that?”

 “It’s not all I’ve wanted to do,” Tobio mumbled and looked away. “Sorry.”

 “Wait, no, what are you waiting for then?” Hinata frowned up at him. “I have no experience. I,” he breathed out the word and sucked the inside of his cheek, “I liked that. I’ll just not speak if it keeps you going.”

 “Well, okay,” said Tobio, and he pushed his nose under Hinata’s ear.

He tensed. Tobio kissed the corner of his jaw and then cautiously licked it, eyeing Hinata. His mouth was open, but nothing was coming out. Tobio huffed and sucked at it instead. “Holy shit,” Hinata mouthed and Tobio felt a wave of alien satisfaction in the pit of his stomach. Hinata brought shaking hands up Tobio’s back, and one tightened into a fist over a shoulder blade when Tobio bit at his earlobe, while the other, trembling, pushed through his hair. Tobio shuddered.

 “I don’t know why I’m doing this,” Tobio whispered into Hinata’s hair. It smelled like bubblegum, and he almost snorted into it.

 “Um…” Hinata twirled a strand of his hair subconsciously, thinking. “Suga said love and I think-”

 “You think so?”

 “I think so.”

 "Oh.” He moved down Hinata’s neck, to his collarbone. “That makes this okay, then.”

 Hinata jerked. “Why do you keep biting me?”

 “I don’t know.” He waited.

 Hinata yanked at his hair. “Well, don’t _stop_.”

 “Okay.” Tobio’s hands were awkwardly holding onto Hinata’s shoulders, but he couldn’t think of what to do past his mouth, which was a completely different subject in itself. He didn’t know what he was doing, only that he wanted to do it, and _goodness_ , it couldn’t be possible for him to want to lick someone so bad.

 That was confusing in itself, Hinata wanting him to do that. Why? Who could get enjoyment out of that? That wasn’t so pressing as much as the red marks forming quite obviously on Hinata’s neck and jawline. “Hinata.” He pointed, and Hinata felt at the irritated skin.

 “Christ, Kageyama, everyone’ll know.” He stepped back. “I dunno what this means anymore.”

 “I think I want to keep doing it,” Tobio thought, and then realized he’d said it aloud and flushed. He chuckled. “I don’t want to go to gym.”

 “I don’t either.”

 “One of us has to be the bearer of reason, though.”

 “Neither of us are smart enough for that, Kageyama.” Both laughed at that, like the cheesy punchline in the end of some sappy romance movie. Hinata laughed harder, and then his eyes were watery. “I’m so glad I feel better now. I’m so glad.” His last words came out as a sob. “I’m so glad.”

 It was never like this. But for once, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. “What are we going to do after college?” Tobio muttered. “Then what?”

 “It’s not April yet, Kageyama,” Hinata said.

“Well, alright then.”


End file.
